Alien vs Predator 2 = Puta, putísima mierda

13 01 2008

Extraído de IMDB, donde la he puntuado con un 1 (xq no se puede poner un cero), por aprovecharse de dos grandes personajes del cine de ciencia ficción e introducirlos en la mayor bazofia que he visto jamás en un cine, a la par con Batman & Robin. Me ahorraré escupir sobre este sub-subproducto, y dejaré que otro hable por mí. Me da cosa hasta marcar la casilla de “cine” en las categorías.

avp2

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758730/

“The worst Alien or Predator experience so far…,

2 January 2008

Author: mik30 from Germany

The production value of AvP2 can be described by one adjective: AWFUL

The script is ridiculous, even in the fictional area of AvP: What are the facehuggers good for on the Predator’s ship? Why is the Predator cleaning up all signs of his influence and than wasting precious time with eviscerating and even presenting the body of an insignificant human cop? Why is the Predator alone? Why is the Predator equipping himself only on earth but on his home planet? Why does the Predator make his job so uneasy for himself by hunting down the Aliens rather than bombing the whole countryside like the humans do in the end? Why is the Predator dropping more & more of his few weapons rather than collecting them to keep them together after using one. In the end he is even dropping his armor before fighting the Predalien in hand to hand combat: what a bad plagiarism of the first predators final fight between Arny and the Predator.

The Predator’s gestures are so exaggerated that he is moving more like a Japanese sumo than like highly skilled extraterrestrial-safari-hunter. As one can see immediately the whole story is a mess. But it gets even worse because this botched-up job is filled up with boring patchwork of senseless interludes like a lengthy pizza ordering episode or some detailed information about the criminal past of the two brothers (Dallas & Ricky). The Sheriff is of course the friend of these two criminals who he puts regularly behind bars. (not convincing & absolutely superfluous for the plot).

In addition to that the cast of actors is horrible. Compared to the high class of directors & actors of the former Aliens or Predator movies AvP2 is an embarrassingly bad piece of crap. At last the action of the movie is really poor. There is not a single scene of action combat in which the audience can see the whole set. Each and every fight is filmed in short & shaky bursts with close up zoom at nearly full darkness. That results in an atrocious experience for the audience because one can mostly see nothing but a dark shaky screen.

I suggest the two directing brothers Strause to buy themselves a steadycam and get a lesson in modern CG so that the next film contains some visible action of visible figures and might not need to disguise their bad directing abilities in such a manner. I would advise anybody (even die hard AvP fans) against watching this film: prefer the first one or the original Aliens or the original Predator films but avoid disappointing yourself by wasting your precious time on this failure. Was the above comment useful to you?”

Que nadie se moleste en decirme que “sabías a lo que ibas”, porque eso no es excusa para ningún producto de esta nefasta y completamente vergonzosa calidad. Una mierda inconmensurable que me hace pensar que la huelga de guionistas de hollywood es algo tremendamente positivo. Vomitiva de principio a fin. Ridícula.

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